
I saw a tweet yesterday from
dadorbust asking what other parents wished they could go back and tell themselves during their first week of parenthood.
Boy, do I remember those days.
We were so excited to get our daughter home, but we didn't really know what came next. My husband had to talk me out of a meltdown more than once because I thought I was doing everything wrong and was convinced I was a bad mother.
I hadn't doubted myself like that before, ever. In fact, I almost just wanted to go right back to work at my corporate job. At least there, I felt like I could handle everything that came my way and I had the experience I needed for any situation. At home with my daughter, I felt like I didn't have a clue.
Mealtimes seemed like they should be easy, but they were actually a real challenge. Our doctor basically told us our daughter would eat when she was hungry and we should just make sure not to let her to snack and snooze, but instead make sure she was fully awake to eat.
I also remember getting stir crazy. It was a shock to be out of commission after my c-section. Being cooped up our house and unable to move around or do much - or drive, especially - made me feel claustrophobic and helpless. By the time we finally got out of the house and walked down to the coffee shop on the corner, it might as well have been a marathon.
So what advice do I have to offer to new parents? Here goes...
Expect the UnexpectedAnytime someone asks me what it's like to have a new baby, I tell them you can't really expect what's coming. Your feelings may surprise you, but most of them are completely normal.
In a few weeks or a month, you'll remember this time and laugh. My husband and I still crack up about those first few weeks. We were sleep-deprived, unsure of ourselves, and afraid of everything. But, we made it through and it got so much easier.
Relax, and Re-prioritize- Remember to sleep and get out of the house when you can.
- Take a walk or even sit outside just to take a break.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Everyone needs the rest, and the laundry and kitchen and yard and everything else can wait.
- Take turns staying up with the baby when necessary.
- If you're too tired, get someone to come over and help so you can rest.
- Talk to other parents.
- Invite nearby family members or friends to come visit for an hour each on different days. Short bursts of company can do wonders for your state of mind.
Trust Your Instincts and Take One Day at a TimeYou and your baby will learn something new about each other every day, and after enough days go by, you'll have a routine that works for you.
Your baby will start eating more normally. She'll get used to the sounds and smells and probably find a comfy spot that she likes to nap in and a position she likes to sleep in.
You'll see that you have really good parenting instincts that are stronger than you ever thought they could be.
And, the first time you tell a doctor or nurse that you know what's best for your baby better than they do, you'll realize that somehow along the way, you settled pretty comfortably into the role of a parent.
Then, the first time your baby smiles at you - and the first time she giggles - you won't know what hit you. You'll just know with every cell in your body that the whole process was worth it.
There are just a few more feedings, sleepy nights, and diapers to get through between now and then.
Ultimately, becoming a parent is a lot like starting any other new job. There's just more riding on your success. Trust your instincts, get used to trial and error, and ask for advice from others who've been there.
So, that's my two cents. What other tips do you have for new parents?